I am an introvert by nature, but an extrovert by profession. 

A decade of sales experience has taught me that extroversion helps build successful personal and professional relationships. And extroversion, to a certain degree, can be learned irrespective of your true nature.

Here are some tips and tricks from the book “How to Talk to Anyone” to improve your extroversion and ace your social interactions.

First Impressions

80% of someone’s first impressions of you are formed even before you speak. Here are some techniques to make a great first impression.

Smile – Instead of an immediate smile, when you see someone, pause and let a big, warm, responsive smile flood over your face

Eye Contact – Maintain strong eye contact, pretend your eyes are glued to your conversation partner.

Sometimes you’ll have to concentrate on another listener(your target) rather than the speaker.

Watch the speaker but let your glance bounce to your target each time the speaker finishes a point

Body Posture – Stand up straight, imagine hanging on to something by your teeth. When you are introduced to someone, give a total body turn and your undivided attention to them.

Mindset – When you meet someone for the first time, imagine him being an old friend you’re meeting after a long time. This will show in your body language.

Starting a Conversation

The first step in starting a conversation is to match your listener’s mood. Track his mood and plan your moves accordingly

First Sentence

Ask questions with a passion to get them talking.

Where are you from?

How do you know the host?

Where did you buy this shoe?

Etc Etc

Introduction -When you see someone interesting, ask the host for an introduction. You can also ask the host for a few interesting things about the person so that you can use them as an icebreaker.

Preferred Topics – Look out for clues from your conversation partner for their preferred topic and pounce on that subject.

Spotlight – Keep the conversation more about them and less about you. If you know that they have some interesting stories from your earlier conversations, ask for a repeat performance on stories that might be relevant to the current crowd.

Whenever people mention an activity or interest you share, let them enjoy discussing their passion. Then, when the time is right, casually mention you share their interest.

Delay in revealing your similarity packs more punch

Building Rapport – Use the words we, us, and our more often. If you share a special moment together, refer to it occasionally. If your partner has a specific lingo, echo it back to them. And use their name more often in your sentences

People perk up when they hear their own name

Flattery

Praise others as soon as they finish an admirable act.

When you hear a compliment about others, inform them immediately.

Another effective way to compliment is to tell someone close to them about your admiration.

A compliment one hears is never as exciting as the one he overhears.

What Not to Do

No Naked Answers – Do not give a one-sentence answer to any question. Add an interesting fact or an observation to carry on the conversation.

No Naked Thank You – Say “Thank you for …….” instead of just “Thank you”

No Naked Job – Don’t just mention your job title, flesh out some interesting facts about what you do

No Naked Introductions – Whenever you introduce someone, also mention any interesting hobbies or talents they have.

Extroversion like any other skill can be learned. Keep practicing these techniques and you will soon be an insider in any crowd.

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